Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?

This daily prompt dates back several months, but I had hit “try another” umpteen times. It was time to commit.

Having survived a crushing divorce, I wholeheartedly believe in forgive and forget. Why, you ask?  Read on…

From Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott

“…graced with the ability finally to forgive someone is just plain astonishing. You can’t have gotten from where you were – gripped by anxiety, tiny with fear – to come through to freedom, for God’s sake. To have been so lost that you felt abducted, to feeling found, returned, and set back on your feet.”

Forgiving is important to free yourself; not necessarily someone else, but to free you.

Instructions for freedom

1. Life’s metaphors are God’s instructions.
2. You have just climbed up and above the roof, there is nothing between you and the Infinite; now, let go.
3. The day is ending, it’s time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.
4. Your wish for resolution was a prayer. You’re being here is God’s response. Let go and watch the stars came out, on the inside and the outside.
5. With all your heart ask for Grace and let go.
6. With all your heart forgive him, forgive yourself and let him go.
7. Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering then, let go.
8. Watch the heat of day pass into the cold night, let go.
9. When the Karma of a relationship is done, only Love remains. It’s safe, let go.
10. When the past has passed from you at last, let go.. then, climb down and begin the rest of your life with great joy.

― from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat. Pray. Love.

From Worthy by Catherine Ryan Hyde

“Forgive someone from your past. You don’t need to contact them. Forgiveness is more about you than them.”

It was 7:51 am. School/work departure time is 8:00 am. I was finishing breakfast. My hair was still damp (it’s 10 degrees out). And, I still needed to take Tristan outside to do his thing. I told my daughter I had to do these three things, to which she replied, “Mom, it’s 7:51!” Don’t worry, I said. I can do it. I can do all of the things!

I have a friend who likes to joke about racing here and there, and doing this and that. You know, partaking in this hectic adventure we call life. Her phrase is “I hate everything. All. Of. The. Things.” She still cracks me up every time she says it.

So this morning, I turned to my daughter and I said, “I can do it. I can do all of the things.” (Yes, I did manage to do all three of those things in …ok, fine, we left at 8:02 today. So I did all of the things in 11 minutes. Not bad, right?)

At lunch hour, I came home to let Tristan out again (so as not to make him hold it for 9 + hours) and I rediscovered the note on the counter top (that I just got from my daughter Wednesday night, mind you). Tomorrow is Greek mythology party day in social studies. Please feel free to bring in a Greek dish so each student can sample it. Your child gets extra credit on the exam. “How about Greek yogurt?” I had asked the night before. Nope. She wants to take in a Greek salad. Dammit. PS – I also learned (also on Wednesday night) that she has two tests on Friday. AND there is a PTO meeting at 6:00 Thursday night. Pile it on, baby, pile it on. I can do it! I can do all of the things!

My friend sends me a recipe for Greek salad. Okay, doesn’t look too bad. Except the homemade dressing. Not doing that. I’m certain they sell red wine vinaigrette in a bottle. I can hit the grocery store after work, then go home, then make the PTO meeting at 6:00 and still be home by 7:00 to visit with my sister-in-law and show her what summer dresses I have that she can borrow. (She leaves for Florida tomorrow. It’s going to be zero for a high here on Saturday. Yes. Zero.)

I head back to work, reminding myself, I can do all of the things. As I’m pulling back into work, I realize I hadn’t eaten lunch. I pull a U-turn, and head to Subway.

Here is a recap on how things really went down. I texted my mom around 2:30. She was picking my daughter up at school so I asked if she minded checking the local grocery store deli for Greek salad. She did one better. She called and asked. Yep, they have it. $5.00/pound. Sounds great to me. I don’t care if it’s $10/pound. I’ll pay just about anything so I don’t have to make it.  Check it off the list!

On the way home, I did remember to stop and grab a bottle of cab for my SIL and I. We had some catching up to do. I made it home close to 5:30. My daughter promptly reminds me that she has two tests tomorrow and she really doesn’t want to go hang out at PTO tonight. Perfect, my sweet. I’d already secretly decided we weren’t going. Check it off the list!

So in the end, there was no homemade Greek salad and I didn’t make the PTO meeting. But my daughter and I had a lovely, quiet dinner in. And my SIl and I enjoyed each other’s company over a lovely bottle of Chilean cab (I did stop for that on the way home). And she felt like she hit the jackpot with the dresses she scored for her week in Florida.

I can certainly do some of the things. And do them well.

 

 

 

Today’s assignment: write and publish a “who I am and why I’m here” post on your blog.

The who…I’m a mom to an 11 year old daughter and a 4-year-old great dane. By day, I work for a large B2B company as an Internal/External Communications Specialist. To put that in plain English, I do quite a bit of writing and editing (of the corporate type, of course).

And the why…By night, I just want to write. Free form. Creatively.

I’m deeply inspired by this response from Emily Austin when she was asked for the advice she’d give on writing a blog about parenting (from her interview with Cheri Lucas Rowlands; Emily writes the blog, The Waiting):

Here’s the thing: it is so incredibly worth it. Just write about your family. Write about the minutiae. Even if you think a post is going to be “boring,” write it: it’s your life and you and your kids will one day treasure that you took the time to record your history. These are your family’s stories and they are precious, even if it seems like you’re writing about the same milestones as everyone else. Just do it. Ask questions later.

So I think I’m going to take her advice. And just do it. Write, that is.